No one cares about your stupid sisters.

MY DAD REALLY IS RETARDED

BUT THERE ISN'T ANY GOOD MEDICINE OUT THERE!!!!

He thinks we need to get ready for the world, but lets just hurt other people.

Stop treating me like a nigger.

You can't say I can't do something.

What else was I thinking?

Well, I can sense jealousy seeping in.  Why do you think you're the only one who can be jealous of me?  What do you think I am, your VooDoo doll?  I'm not a nigger, at any rate!

My dad is weak..

Wow, I must make my dad collapse to his knees.  I already am way smarter than my mom, you niggers.  My mom has made me strong, my whole life, but my brother is a weakling..

YOU STUPID NIGGERS

There's this boy online who's dad, who is about 5 years older than my dad died, and it seems that people want my dad to die.  Wow, go **** your own dads, you stupid niggers.

ELLEN DEGENERES

STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO OLD PEOPLE AND PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME!  WHY DON'T YOU EVER TALK?  D*:

Tim Burton is a *beep*

Why doesn't he just pick one side?  He's a weakling.  He is a bad man.  He shouldn't have a daughter.

I care about my dad you stupid niggers.

If I don't DIE and go to Hell I could torture you slowly because I am the most powerful woman in the whole world and caused things like Hurricane Katrina.

My grandma is so stupid.

I don't want to say that, but she is like skirting around issues like that's my life, picking on my family all the time in hidden ways!  What a sick grandma.  The world is at her feet.  A nation waits, and how it hates to be cheated.

JOHNNY DEPP

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID, SICK, MISERABLE LIFE AND YOUR FAILURES IN YOUR FAMILY AFFAIR.  I DON'T CARE IF *deleted*!  BECAUSE YOU SUCK UP TO PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD.

I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT TO YOU NIGGER

STOP PICKING ON MY MOM.  YOU RUINED MY LIFE.  GO BACK TO HELL.

SHUT UP DAD, YOU STUPID, GOOD FOR NOTHING AMERICAN.

YOU CAN'T MAKE A HOME.  GO **** YOURSELF FOR MAKING ME LIKE MICHAEL!

I'll just sit here and post hate messages to my disgusting, sick, nigger dad.

I don't have a dad.

I have an idiot who abuses women.

All I see is his shit around the house for thinking he had nothing to do with getting me to call someone the "n" word, which doesn't matter, except it may have hurt this person, though I was asked to do it and this person wanted me to do it.

His life is not even worth living or something.  I don't know what I'm thinking.

Oh, and fucking **** his sister for mimicking me like a retard.  He's influenced him too much.  I'm kidding.  I didn't say anything out loud.  :|  I have a right to for the suggestions she's had me sit with throughout the past 15 years.  I just don't know what to say.  I don't mean it literally, retards!

My dad is the most retarded person in the world.

I'm really hurt.  How else can I say something like this?

He is so stupid and sucks up to his mom at age 60 something, and he says she should be dead.  Go **** yourself.

Be More Aggressive

It will come up if you don't write it down.

Gay

I have a gay indian family.  Stop talking about them.  Let's all run away from them together.

HIT }:{

Now, I'm imagining shit from someone else.

Don't do it.  I kinda don't mind if it happened to you.

Mad

I imagined someone dying and couldn't help thinking of curse words.

>^,,^<~ meow

Stop acting like you're "what" because you're not good enough, like you "did it" to make us not look as bad.  Don't get into my wording, too much for me to think about right now.  You're just racist and categorical.

Visions

I have bad visions caused by the interest of multiple people when I'm trying to settle in.

People don't have what they think they can offer.  That's the problem to begin with, hard to think of again and getting tired of doing this.  Maybe later, though?  Dunno if it's the best idea, though...

Ever since the "n" word thing, I've been like tortured mentally constantly and been unable to function, like I don't care about anyone and want all the attention, which I don't even GET!

I didn't get it all my life, in a way, it seemed, well, not for large portions of it, constantly, like never a totally ideal life, well maybe once...  And, now, how would you like to be told you're wrong because other people have families and like make a big deal of it and stuff...  Like, don't get into what's not there.  How would you like to be the one people are mean to?  Like, it's because you're not white or something?  It's just what everyone's been doing.

Can't Hide Anything

I just can't hide anything, can I?  Do you have to be rich and famous to be happy?  :6  LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Did not count.)

Problem?

You think I was messed up in the womb.  Well, I probably have the same desires and goals to surmount.  I bet you'd come out looking like a retarded Asian if you were me, I'm almost 100% sure of it all the time.  I've seen living proof and online.  I'm sure of this.  Now I don't care about your sperm.  I'm not my dad.  I'm another person.  He has faults I don't have.  I'm another WHITE PERSON, YOU BLOOMIN IDIOTS.  WHITE PEOPLE ARE JUDGED AS INDIVIDUALS.  EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.  PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES ARE CATEGORIZED TO BE UNDERSTOOD.  This is an idea that has been going around since the 80s and maybe before I was born!  It was constant, a big deal, not always spoken of but I think I've heard of it enough it seems, maybe in those tacky influxes of the voice, those nasal, tacky, mellow suck ups of the 80s, 90s, 00s, and the present!

Imperfect, Unaccomplished, and Lazy

You're just racist, mad someone else will do something dramatic.

It's very suggestive, indeed.  It's something to try to formulate a thought on.  Probably not worth it.

You think it's not about what you do but how spoiled you are, that you don't get "that feeling" taken away from you, that you get mad if something good happens to someone else, something I've felt, though I didn't hurt anyone for it.  :|  :6

Niggers

You think you're so saucy, mimicking me.  Going behind my back like you were scared away and then still being mean to me, like I can't be mean to you and taking me of my dignity.

Also, do not hold me accountable for deciding to do this.  I feel very irritated.  It's affecting me and putting disturbing images in my mind's eye.

I blame you stupid people.

My left eye feels like it's round.  }:{  I blame you stupid people.

NHo

Oh, now you think being smart is sarcastic.

Leave me alone!

All you'll come back to is getting mad for putting curse words concretely in my head.

Also, I don't care about your queasiness.  Get out of my life!

Oh wow

Have fun making the same mistakes again and being mean to me because you're not white, being mean to me like that wasn't what got you in trouble in the first place.

Also, you pushed me to think of curse words, and now I can't get them out of my head.  So, don't BE MEAN TO ME FOR SHIT LIKE THAT.  I'm trying to get rid of the thoughts, but curse words aren't that bad.  It's what you do, and I used to not curse.

My Grandma

She's pretty harsh now, but so are other people, really, it's okay for them to be mean to me but not the other way around.

REALLY MAD

I keep feeling a swirling, well more of a shifting around of pressure, like where I think my egg sacks are.  Ever since I talked to my grandma every day to read the Bible, it's been happening.  I think I was sensitive to it, before, but who knows why, really.  Like, if I was a little upset because she was being bad because of the "n" word thing, all night I would feel that, like stress to make it stop and not pulse and stuff.  It doesn't pulse now.  It's kinda neat, maybe finally gaining some control over my parts.  Anyway, so, yea, I feel it a lot, when I think of it, it happens.  I don't seem to think much, anymore.

Meanies

Stop teasing me about my thoughts with the "n" word thing.

I can do whatever I want that is legal.

Wow, my life sure has been ruined for nothing.  It seems other people are the mean, conventional ones.

Meanies

I really don't care what some people think and wants thoughts of them out of my life.

If someone did something and it was wrong but made it seem nice to me is not bad and should not be suggested as such.

I don't need to play games because I'm not going to interact with you in a certain way, so just GO AWAY!  Stop bringing up people to molest you for you because you want to be mean to me.

Mad

So, you can't make other people feel uncomfortable for what they did in fear.  They probably didn't mean it but made up a reason.

If someone had a hard life, then you could have a hard life, too.

It seems that some people have racial problems of their own.

I'm sure that Tim Burton is being clunky.  He's mellow, and his daughter has been mellowed.

Ellen DeGeneres is a show-off!  She wants to get attention for being bad.

This would make a good movie.

Book

Maybe, some people will never have their say?

You'd think Judgers would Think.

My Type

I think people want me to be an INTP.  That's what my dad is.  I don't really think, though.  8|

Ellen DeGeneres

I'm guessing she's T ... E ... F ... ESTF.  Wait, EST ... ESTP.

@TheEllenShow

How about being Open or Closed.  Then being Dreamy or Concrete.  Then being Finesse or Clunky.  Then being Decisive or Indecisive.

Why make a test?

I think I am an ODFD.  Most people are CCCIs.

I think you are O but not as O as me, D but not as D as me, C, and D.  Maybe the same as me in D.  So, you are a ODCD, and I am an ODFD.

Tweet @DonnaDunning

Supposedly, from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I've realized people think the world is SPs, SJs, and Intuitives.  I ended up deciding it was all ESFPs.  There are lots of ESTJs, and don't talk about ESFJs, please!  I'm not sure what type I am, but I think my mistake was that people were sure I was a Thinking type.  At first, I was Introverted, maybe like a 9 or a 10.  I think I just said I did pick up the phone when it rang.  However, so many times in a row over the years w|o ceasing I've been exactly half and half.  I'm big on that you change throughout life, and I will stand firm by that belief.  I guess the funny thing was maybe I was a Perceiver.  As for Sensing and Intuiting, I'm not sure.  Let's just say I'm an EXTP.  However, I'm defintely a Feeler, now, or am becoming one.  So, then, I'd be an EXSP.  Wait, EXFP.  It seems, as a feeler, I'd be a Sensor, though I'm not really sure why.  I just don't want to be an INFX.  I don't know how Introverted I can really be.  I like to express myself.  That's probably why the types aren't balanced.

Let's see what really divides the population, and in order but more than one thing...  So, some people like to hold in their true feelings, some people like to lie, some people don't like to admit they feel, and some people don't plan on anything.  So, that would separate the good guys from the bad ones.  I've connected this to the Enneagram, as have the books I read, which isn't many.  I also know there are people who don't feel what they want to feel.  I used to be like that.  I would feel differently than I thought.  Not until I grew up and moved to Orlando did that eventually change.  Well, I also went up north for college, and I suppose that's when the process began.  I still might have been a Feeler had I not moved to the New Orleans area.  Hm.  A car just roared|zoomed by.  ':0  Yes, and everyone is affected by their environment in different ways because of race, but it changes, like persoality types do.  That just means we should all be ESFJs, but I'm not busy planning anything.  8)  When I think, I feel I'm interacting.  I don't plan experiences and then not feel what I think...

It's hard to say we all have different personalities.  Is intuiting really thinking and judging?  Are we all either ES ... INTJs, ENTJs, and ... ESFJs, ESTJs?  I'm wondering what my cousin is.  She was supposedly an ESFP, but I don't think so.  She's too wild to feel and think.  She's not very extraverted anymore nor ever communicated much, was just loud.  I know I seem blunt, but so is everyone else.  :p  She's affected my life is why I bring this up here.  She's not here, and no one talks to me.  So, she must be an INTJ.  I wonder what her mom is.  Maybe an ENTP.  I have another aunt.  She's probably an ENFJ.  My grandma is probably an INTP, like my dad.  My mom may be an ... ENFP.

It's funny, I used to live thinking I was an INFP.  I don't know why I wasn't an INFJ.  I just wasn't.  I didn't have time to practice piano.  You'd think being an NF would mean being the most artistic.  I guess INFPs and ESFPs are artistic.

So, I'm guessing it'd be good to find out how many people are what.  I'm guessing most people are really Feelers, unless they are Judgers or professers.  Most people have chosen they are realistic people, Sensors.  Then, I guess being a Judger and a Perceiver comes in, and Perceivers are like Intuiters.  It doesn't have to be that way.  Maybe, they are "like Feelers."

I still want to make new categories!

How about being Open or Closed.  Then being Dreamy or Concrete.  Then being Finesse or Clunky.  Then being Decisive or Indecisive.

Why make a test?

I think I am an ODFD.  Most people are CCCIs.

Helena Bonham Carter

... She really gets a temper, sometimes.  Don't people who have schizophrenia do that?  I understand that Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka is like that.  Hm...  I was thinking, my mom is Chinese-Indonesian...  My dad has Native American and Jewish.  Helena Bonham Carter doesn't.  No one should react to her.  I've often thought people with moms who aren't all white are just spoiled rotten!

I'm unsure, too, because, like, Helena Bonham Carter waited so late to have kids withs such an old man...  I don't really like her kids?  I do, I mean, but it's like they're "not allowed to play with me."  That doesn't make them look good.

I'm not sure what's wrong with their kids.  I guess being Jewish, as well as Spanish, takes its toll on them??

I wonder if its because their parents are so young.  I'm not sure if my life could be like theirs, not in this lifetime nor ever, I think.  I guess they make a big deal over little things.  I don't get stimulated that easily.

I'm not sure why I got stimulated when I was younger.  I thought it was from doing gymnastics, but I only went once a week.  I think I tried harder than anyone else and did it at home but not like a lot all the time.  I had already thought I should quit, but my brother was born and my mom asked if I wanted to stay and I said yes.  She later said she wants each kid in one activity, but my brother didn't do sports until he was 6 1|2.

I did art, as well, but I wouldn't say it's what stimulated me, at the time.  It felt kinda pleasurable, not really wrong, but it kinda stayed with me.  I can't feel it, anymore, though.

I used to be more stimulated seeing people pick up kids, but I don't really do that like that.  I understand it but don't like think about it concretely all the time.

I feel "good," now, almost died from eating but took a heart pill.  I usually take a bunch of pills daily.  I haven't worked out in awhile, neither.

I don't understand how you could get uppity for someone else in the world enjoying themselves.  I mean, you can't literally go ahead and attack that person.  I understand you can do things in other ways, but most people don't.

Go bother someone else!  It would do them good.  They can't be hurt the way I can.  :S  I used to be like them, in an earlier day.

I did get a lot from people I talked to, but it's always been a trade-off.  It sorta is like pieced together shit.  Well, concretely, I'd say I really was shit, but my thoughts aren't shit.  So, other people do think shit, I know.  I probably did at one point, too, but got tired of it.  :(

My grandma is rough with me nowadays.  It's other people who also want her to "be" unpleasing and are like rubbing in the older people in my family in ways that don't suit each one individually.  It turns out I'm not so cool.  I think okay, but I'm like shit.  Well, not really, but part of me is, I think.  :S

I'm still mad that the world is like about Tim Burton in his unsucceessful relationship with Helena Bonham Carter.  He seems to think he's over and above me.  I feel so winded by him and Johnny Depp it isn't funny.

Also, I can enjoy myself and you can't like associate every good thing with something that went wrong.  It might seem obvious, but it was obviously set up and I deserve what I have, which isn't much.

I find people are mean to me because of my race.  It's always been that way, though.  :|

Don't tell me like I had it easier because sorry I didn't sorry to burst your bubble, but I assume you have problems, as well.

Me technically being Native American seems to get in the way.  However, it's also a benefit, just something to deal with that you have to be careful about.

I'm not sure what I'd be like if I wasn't Native American.  Native Americans are strong and in tune with nature, but I'm not from Alaska.  I have relatives from the northern Scottish islands but maybe not a huge hunk, unsure though, might be from a long time ago but dunno.

I really don't get why the world centers on Italians and also around Jews against Chinese and Native Americans.  Or Chinese, at least.  Hm.  Anything that's against Chinese who are competition.  That's Tim Burton and his daughter Nell, but Billy is good.  I like Nell, though.  Hm.  Her dad is older than my mom.  Maybe that's why.  She's cute, too...

Ellen's Energy Adventure! ... I got a new fan 2 days ago I think and I talked to her.

Older Parents

When I meet women who are older than me, I guess I feel a lot.  I know there's a lot of calculating involved.  I think Nell Burton is the opposite.

Wait, I mean women who are older than my dad.  I like women between my parents's age, but I haven't yet met any born 1955-1956 that catch my fancy.

New Photos

Flickr

Trip

The Best of Me

Show-Offs

Do you know some people always showing off about not being close to people and then retreating in their hole?

Be the One

If someone had to do something, would I be the one to do it?

I mean, I have a lot of things calculated and I have substance.

The shoes I wore

When I was little, I wore light blue lacy dresses that rode up my legs, and I wore those ... I forget what they're called now, but there's a strap from the toe to the ankle, and the rest is like Mary Janes, and mine were shiny red.  I wanted those shoes as a mid-older teenager, but I couldn't find any in my size.

My Eyes

I think I tried to make them sparkly blue, but I guess my mom got them sparkly blue.

Then, I guess I wanted to be "as good as" people with dark brown eyes.

Do it! Do it!

When will kids these days really "do it?"  I think if you do it sooner than later, something that's not bad, then it's not as bad later on.  :|  I can't "do it."

Weird

My mom just touched me.

She patted my shoulder - the cap of my sleeve.  I don't know why it felt so good.  :S

I'm glad.  I'm not used to it from her like this.  So, after, I retreated and thought and calculated some mess about how stupid I was.  I feel it on the cap of the sleeve of the other arm now.

It doesn't really change my relationship.

Go

You'll go just like everyone else.

Stop playing with me.

Will you stop playing around with what I don't want?  You are dumb and treating me like a toy.

Let me make myself clear.

I don't want to be pushed into having any relationship with my dad, in a way I don't like!

Pinterest

New Video of Me Singing - But Not Successfully Recorded

YouTube

New Song

YouTube

Sizes

34
31
36

LEAVE ME ALONE

GO AWAY ... I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY DAD NOR WITH FEMALES.

People up North

So, I understand they have problems eating.

*Fix*

Do you think I should "fix" my dad?

THINGS HAVEN'T GONE SMOOTHLY

STUPID CASE OF NELL BURTON

My dad is such a bad influence.

He repeates the past to make fun of others, ambye thinking it "won't happen for real."

He does things like this when smoething messes up.

Trying to Stimulate Me

So, basically people do weird things to people in order to stimulate me in bad ways.

I'm guessing they aren't stimulated, at all.

Nell Burton

She is ruining my life!

I was trying to feel good about beeing nice to Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres, on top of my old reputation as being the brightest, furthest star or whatever...  That star in the distance that twinkles.  I mean, you know when kids are nice to you?  You have to have yourself open for accomplishment and achievement.  You can't just suggest that maybe I'm not tall that.

Ellen DeGeneres

It seems no one is there for her because young people try to say they're better than her.

Also, then, people who meet her have it better than her because she's the one like paying attention to them.  :|

I'm sure.

I'm sure you're supposed to punish people who are worse and don't contribute much.

LEAVE MY FAMLIY ALONE.

There is no point in striving for perfection.  LEAVE ME ALONE YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS HUMAN BEINGS.

You can't sing.

You can't really sing, so shut up.

Also, you're not white.  :6

Harsh

You've all became very stupid since the "n" word thing.  Stop pressuring me to post online.  I post when I want and feel the "support."

I have a stupid family.

Points

When you come up with a point that is wrong, I will not approve of it.

My Race

I don't really want to be pushed to be ways I don't want just because you want it to be your thing for a reason that is not my fault, that you aren't approved of in some way by others because of something you did wrong.

Enjoying the Facts

You think you can enjoy the facts but me mean to me for it, but you can't be mean to me for it.  You can, but you'll get in trouble and people won't like you, especially if something else bad happens to me.

Why?  Because you can't to begin with, just because you enjoy the facts.  True, that was my plea, but I was never really guilty, anyway, just mistaken.  So, what is there to rat on about with me?  Afraid I think you're a nigger?  Who cares?  You were racist to me.  I don't act like that, do I?  I may think that, though.

Before

It seems before, we were able to control our temper and language an thoughts, mainly I'm thinking the language in our reactions.  }:|

Irish

It seems Irish can look English or French.

So ... so can we, but it seems we're not Irish enough.  :|  People are stubborn and never achieve what they want.  They think it's just people like me who don't.

Of course, I want to achieve different things, but aren't we all fundamentally the same?

Weird

I do not prove of all the ugly Irish people in the U.S.

Too Far

You don't really have to go too far.  I don't think people can be pressured to feel things they don't have to and to be cornered for others's jealousy.  I think some things are really important to some people and that they shouldn't be affected by these things and that you shouldn't be the one to teach someone else a lesson...

I mean, some people are important in certain ways, and other people, both young and old, are important in their lives, as well.  I wouldn't play around.  I realize these things would go over big, but I really don't play around!  :0  I also would be careful not to mess up, which I already have, thanks a lot.  }:(  Not sure, though, who caused it and if it can be forgotten as no one's fault.  :|

Also, I see that usually people of all one race in their home country maybe are competent, depending on the race and country and stuff.  I don't want to be categorized in weird ways among different people for their antsiness and getting all excited in like sissy ways and stuff about the complications of themselves racially.

Also, I feel some excitement surging that I should be in the mental hospital for closing the laundry door hard, the machine dooor.  I felt bothered and fed up.  I was already venting.  I felt picked on for going around alone harshly at home.  Other things, too, built up.

Social Dilemma

I guess the social dilemma I'm thinking would get you caught up.

Different Strokes to Different Folks

So, the one thing you cannot do to me is make me get close to people in ways I don't want to because I like you in a certain way...  :|

Ethnicity

So, it seems known that Kate Bush, who is 1|2 Irish 1|2 English, born mid-1958, just a little older than Tim Burton, is like the reason for things in Europe not going right, like maybe she was normal but really like seems to be kinda sappy about her race but privately.

It also seems important to us in America to at least be approved of racially and acknowledged for who we know we are, who we know we are to others.

I've found that with my mom I've been able to connect well with others of any race, so most people to me don't seem that together racially.

I find the Irish to be molded out a bit too much yet kinda rounded out in ways.  The English seem more like a bowl or a ball, like something in the mist, and I don't want to lose, like, that feeling or something.

I don't quite understand the Irish males, suppose they are uptight and pretty, like, European in a certain way.

Eating

I don't know why my parents ate as they did.  Even my dad spurted finally that the food my mom ate before isn't here.

I can only listen and agree that I didn't like who I was.  I don't want it to be my fault my parents didn't eat right, like how I took more of the meat because I didn't like peppers and there wasn't enough.  I was always more hungry and should have eaten more, for some reason, but thought I wasn't supposed to eat too much and I guess that my mom only made a certain amount of food to feed the family, like a set ration, which seemed cute yet questionable.  We didn't have like biscuits and gravy and stuff like that much.  It was like a lot of chicken and rice.  A lot!  I figured rice was good but dunno.

Food

Leave us Americans alone about maybe we don't deserve anything because we don't eat right.

Maybe, you don't deserve to eat right.  }:)

Also, please do not praise people who act like clowns, like they deserve more than they have.

Dream

I just felt so comforted by the person.  They kept putting their arm by my body reassuringly and were highly regarded by my parents, ultimately, like in a snap, particularly seeing my mom in the picture but not very clearly.  It was about this person.

Then, at the mall, I felt so good when I came up to them and put my arm around them, like kinda moved, like "Oh, oh."  I'm not sure why.  I mean, I used to be like that but not like feel like that.  I think I've had friends like that.  '8^.

Other People Knowing Things About Me

It upsets me when other people racially taunt me that they've calculated so much of what I will think, yet pretty much people act stupid around me.

Post Edit

Post

Actually, I know I was just mad that day, but I don't know who made me mad.  Pretty much, it's layer upon layer upon layer of feeling insulted, "like it's not enough."  I wasn't really mad at anyone as an attack.

People Going Crazy

It's sad when like you do things and this has to happen and you forget "what" really caused it.

Pressure

I do feel people put pressure on certain ideas.  It leaves me sorta with nothing I can do.  I just make a point.  I'm not really sure exactly what's making me mad.  I mean, I'm pretty happy.  I guess I'm upset I'm having hard time becoming an actor and now feel different, like I'm just getting bigger I think.

I think I've been wound up over something I haven't quite yet reached, about other people's relationships.  I guess it fed me up.  I realized that people I liked shied away from me saying they had other relationships.  I mean, they talked to me.  However, I was treated racistly a lot.  Then, people who I don't like as much have all the morality in the world for me.

I haven't yet been mad concretely at anyone's relationship I think other than with my relatives.  I get annoyed at the kids and realized the adults were boring and mean to my mom, as well as to me in the past in attitude.

I guess my point is that I don't want to be left with any baggage ... now I forget, because of other people.

I forget, again!  Ah, yes, attention.  I find I get attention and am constantly juggling why I get it.  I also don't feel allowed to act as a normal person.  In a way, I don't get a lot of attention, like when I post online.  I mean, I never get in big long conversations, which feeds me up, because I've been online so much.  I think I was mad that no famous person talked to me directly, but I don't want to hope they do in a way they would like not really do to most people.  I mean, maybe it would happen, and maybe it wouldn't be too awkward.  I just have to admit for some reason what like makes me like ... like when really good things happen to me.  It's so weird when some people I follow and I feel they're talking to me.  I don't really know what their relationship is with others, but I mean I just hope for the best.  Then, I wonder, why do I soak in attention?  I dunno.  I mean I just do what a person should do.  I've been told like "not to use the internet."  Well, that's not a good thing to do.

Also, I've been feeling funny lately, kinda like my brother in ways I don't like, in ways that he's suppressed or isn't really like now, like in funny ways.  I don't really, but like it just kinda happens.

I also feel kinda weighted down, like in my legs, like from what I've been eating.

So, I'm pretty upest about yesterday, wonder why the night went by so fast.  I said some bad things and I guess disregarded some things.  ):  Um, people will only connect the dots and not connect them in the right way.  It was something that happened I could not take back, and I did not mean what you thought.  It got something out of the way.  It's also because of when I got mad before at something.  So, now, that things are settled and people aren't too uptight, I was just playing around in general, really, didn't mean anything, at all, really.  You can't search me.  I don't mean anything.  It was really catching the buzz.  If I calmed down like now, I wouldn't have posted it.

I like my blog now because the name matches my YouTube, and the accounts are connected, so I dunno but do miss my old blog with the dreams.  I couldn't get into all my old blogs like I'd like.  I think I listed them somewhere, but I thought it wasn't fun to click on them all but we'll see.  Feel kinda tired now.  Not sure if I will go back and put them up or combine like the last one.

I guess I'm mad I'm fat but need to eat.  I'm wondering what will thin me down and what kinds of activities I can do.  I'm wondering about the constant bickering that my family works.  I've had it hard socially...

Worried

Why did this happen to me?  What will happen to me now?  I didn't want to do that. ,:  I know I didn't mean what you thought.  Pretty much, I say exactly what I mean and never attack anyone who is innocent.  I wasn't really mad at who you might think I was mad at.

Perhaps, things were being rubbed in.  I was just making a general point, for some reason, toppping off what I'd been saying.  It didn't mean what you'd think literally, really.  Like I said, I couldn't take it back at the time nor do I go back and erase when I get mad in blogs.

Mad

So, I guess I got pretty mad yesterday but didn't really mean anything and felt tricked and like I couldn't take it back and had to say what I said.  It felt pretty bad.  D:

}:{  I feel pretty offended, too, right now...

I don't like my food and don't feel like working out.  Maybe, I should go back to bed.

Dream

I was in bed in a hotel like room with my parents and someone kept coming to visit me.  I was like sick in bed.  They kept putting their hand like at the foot of my body.  This happened maybe 10 times.

The, this person walked around like a small mall a few times, and I kept putting my arm around her waist.  It was comforting.  I was shrugged off it felt.  I was to stay with the person.

I guess other things happened, but this was the main part.  I know the person like sorta blended in as other people and sometimes wasn't there.

The other person was just a little taller than me.  They were very skinny but not like weak.

My Stupid Indian Family

I don't care at all for you stupid relatives.

My dad is stupid.

He didn't take care of my mom.

Being Irish

You know, in the U.S.A., not that many men seem that Irish.  Most of them are stupid.

MY DAD CARES ABOUT ME, YOU STUPID FEMALE

YOU STUPID WOMEN!

YOU GAY PEOPLE!

Meanie

Don't you dare be mean to my dad for the comforts he did not have with the stupid Chinese wife!  :6  Go rot in Hell and never eat and leave me alone.

My Dad and Work

My dad goes to work every day!

The Food We Ate

My mom gave us like chicken and soy sauce.

My Mom's Stupid Food

My mom can go to Hell for not feeding us.

New Video of Me Singing

3 more coming.

All Irish singing!

YouTube

Nell Burton

Why is she so carefree?  Her dad was old when she was born, but he was born in 1958.

In the Shit

Why would you just pick up the shitty traits of someone?

I guess I do in another way.

It makes me curious as to what's going on, exactly, in this case.