Monday, October 8, 2012

My Grandma

Also, she came over when I was 2 for my birthday... and I didn't like how I looked by that point...  A short life lived.  Then she was "around" for awhile after, like in Pre-K "helping" "my mother" and teaching my brother to walk and like doing weird things I think.  There's this one picture, see, where his eyes are big and he looks limp, his hair a little lighter, and he looks over, and my grandma like crosses her eyes over and smiles.

@TheEllenShow

So, you have people hurt me because you're offended by the implications of my point I've gotten across for some odd reason?

So, I said, is YOUR mom there to pick you up for a reason I don't remember, but I'm constantly tortured by my dad about my grandma and other people about my dad.

@TheEllenShow - Ducks

Wow, that girl looks kinda healthy.  I wonder what she's been eating, lately...  Oh well, soon, I will go to the grocery store.  Frankenweenie is over, and I have money and have been getting things here and there.

Those ducks... Hm? No comment.

Those people are kinda stupid, really.  Point.

Worthless

OH NO I FELT ONE MY PRIVATES LOOPING WHEN MY DAD DID THAT BUMP!  HE THINKS HE'S SO SMART.

My Background

My background has a frog on a lily pad etc.

SOMEONE RIPPP MY DAD AND AUNT APART!!

I feel my aunt wants to reject the existence of my future daughter.  Just **** her.

I felt my dad wants to reject the existence of my future son, said "...meat that to not meet this" or wait "get that (my eye crossing) to not meet this.)  He's nothing and stupid and prejudiced and thinks he's actually something.  I was walking this morning and listening to cars and thought of kids being like hamburgers.  It was so funny.

Hey, what if my dad's eyes were semi-permanently crossed?  And my aunts's and grandma's?  Good-for-nothings.

@TheEllenShow

Getting back at me?  Getting my sick family involved in me????  My stupid family has no point and are very rude. Overly expressive.

Oh, and I think you don't respect my mom, think she's a nigger.  Well, don't talk to my Native American dad.  Are you gonna twist that into some literal thing, though?

I SAID GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WORTHLESS ANIMALS.

I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE YOU STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING, NIGGERS.

LEAVE ME ALONE

STUPID GRANDMA.  GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE, YOU STUPID-GOOD-FOR-NOTHING INTRUDERS!  STOP IDEALIZING YORSELFS.

@TheEllenShow

MY STUPID WORTHLESS DAD THINK HE CAN SEXUALLY "CONTROL" ME, AND MAKE ONE EYE LOOK BIGGER THAN ANOTHER.  I SAW THAT STUPID WORTHLESS BOY ON YOUR SHOW AND SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THAT.  QUIT PLAYING AROUND WITH ME LIKE I'M PERVERTED TO GET ANY ATTENTION!  YOU'RE SO STUPID AND WORTHLESS, PEOPLE!  MY RELATIVES DESERVE TO BE TORTURED FOREVER!

@TheEllenShow

I think you affected my family life and think I'm trash.  People never let me have the chance I've earned.  I don't want to have anything to do with my dad sexually.  I don't want anything to do with my illegitimate cousins and stupid Nell Burton.  I don't want anything to do with my brainless, worthless dad.  I go to sleep and the music affects me, apparently.  It seems there is a lot of pressure in my eyes, and I felt my family mocking me for my incident.  Never happened before.  Let's see if we can't "do it" to the people who caused it...

I haven't felt like going to the grocery store recently, and, anyway, my brother is over.  I did feel kinda fat like when I saw the fat people on your show.  I got tired after working out a lot and took a break.  I decided not to go on a heavy diet.  That doesn't mean I should be brutalized.  And treated like trash.  I'm not going to style myself after trash!  I'm not a pervert, and I'm not a stupid good-for-nothing lunk and "liar."

I'm not going to be like my brainless, perverted dad an stupid mom and worthless brother and relatives that deserve to be tortured forever.

Very Mad..

I got signs of eyes it seemed that reminded me of my dad, whom I hate in many ways.0

Mad

It seems that somehow people have gotten my right eye to cross...  It annoyed me greatly.  I remember my cousin's eyes were crossed.  }:{  What perves.  Leave me alone!  My dad made a little boop while I was in the bathroom uncrossing it.  My mom and brother and being stuck up and stupid as ever by the sign of how their doors are opened.  I used to have a feeling of my eyes being connected but never crossed.  I wonder what did it this time.  May as well poke at their eyes.  Leave me alone niggers!

Things That Happen

I found that I have to let things happen to me so something happens.

Niggers

I guess my family are just jealous niggers.

I said niggers because I didn't say who and I mean what I say because that's what I think and I don't know any other words that mean the same thing and don't have the energy to explain it or something.  Too much.

Niggers because I've been treated like one all the time by everyone in the world and I have a right to use a word I like when it's not attacking someone at the start.

Also, I don't agree with people inflicting ugliness on good people.  Those people "go to Hell."  You shouldn't do that for attention because you are trash.  :|

Recap

My grandma is a criminal.  She controls my dad to be mean to me because she knows him as well as an experiment.  She can affect him easily.  I think it's true.  We can steer away from her.  If he acts like he's good, she'll be mean to my brother, suggestive.  I'm not sure what she can do to my mom other than hurt her kids.  She influences us to be uncomfortable, knows just how we're programmed.  She's a real criminal.  My dad feels so comfy and cozy about her dying soon.  He gets away with it.  Oh, my aunt calls her every day, the older one.  I e-mail her and talk to her on Facebook.  I bet my dad still talks to her.  We just sent a birthday card...  She's kinda weird and probably thinks we're weird speaking to her.  My dad didn't know his dad's family probably because he was a Native American farmer.

I'm worried because my mom is affected by suggestions and keeps being mean to me so nothing happens to her.  My grandma lets anything go.  She's a real animal.  She thinks she's all proper.  My grandma is kinda stupid.  She thinks my mom doesn't know how to take care of her nigger sperms..

D: Motorcyclist.

I heard a motorcyclist was just hit and killed.  I wonder if my aunt did it.  She was a police.

@ChloeGMoretz

Sorry!

Haha!  I was kidding about the white connection.  Well, no, I wasn't.  :|

Well, I was just asking if you knew so much...and wondering why you were acting like kids from my generation.  I mean, I don't think it's attractive, to be like me or how I was or how I didn't like myself.

Well, I was just wondering if your feelings were hurt easily.

I guess it was weird I brought up the thing about groveling.

Haha, I don't talk to those people, anymore, but probably will again.

@TheEllenShow

So, you think you have a good show?
Of course, you do.  I was just saying. You seemed to think maybe I didn't really.
:p

Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you can hurt other people. I don't like your smile.
I told you about the smile joke.  I guess I meant something else.  I recently got mad at the scrunch on Tim Burton's face to a breaking point.  You should know I'm kidding.  I just posted how I wish you had a kid in like mid-late 1997.  A girl.  Or a boy first.  And then the girl in 1997.

I hope your mom does comfort you.  My mom is quite subtle in how she handles me.  She didn't pick me up much of my life, and I was proud of it when I stopped clinging to her, perhaps a bit too proud.  I still remember hiding behind her dress or whatever she was wearing...

Getting hints from my dad?  I've been talking about that.

Craaazy.  Kinda weird song.  :(  That's okay, people who can't make a point, the French.  I guess you do, but sometimes you don't.  That's what you're supposed to be like.  I guess it's not nice to suggest you think others are so stupid.  Maybe, you don't think that in every way.  I hope not. ':{

Singing on your show, nice.  I've been singing since I was 5 or 6, choir since I was 7.  :p  Private voice at 18.  :|  Sing on my own now.

I did get back the pleasurable thought.  I don't know why it had to connect through you.

Oh, yes, I was wondering why you were with an Italian.  I guess she's respectable, a respectable, sophisticated distance.  :|

Mixed people.  People think the Spanish are less European than blacks, but that depends on how much blood you have.  Johnny Depp is related to the first freed black woman.

Animals

I have a wicked family who won't quit coming round and attack you because of their STUPID N WORD TRICK...whatever that means.  :|  If I asked you to call me that or you thought I wanted you to because of how things were going, wouldn't you and do it maybe in a bad way, who whick whick which hopefully not.

I didn't really want to and shouldn't have.

My Last Name

My Last Name - Scroll to the bottom...

My Dad

D:{  LEAVE ME ALONE!  I don't want him to "take the place of my mom."

Now I forget what I was gonna say...

Oh yea, I don't want him to deal with me a certain way, but others are okay.  What did I even say?  Ah!  I'm so sick!

Um, what's going on?  Don't make my life worse.  Got a fetish?  }:|

My Dad

I was with my mom more.

I wonder if he decided to do things because of what I did.  Why doesn't he dail with reality?

Helena Bonham Carter

Quit arguing how I'm supposed to think of her puffalump daughter, and why did she make her so....

I mean, I won't accept that it's like meaning I have to do all these bad things, like thinking I'm not good and stuff because I don't want to be like her, no.  Not exactly nor not really much like her technically, though in ways yes.

My Grandma

She seems to secretly think I'm my dad's sin because my mom is not Caucasian, technically, in a way.

I think my dad is mad because she can affect him easily.  I'm not sure what happened to my aunts, but they seem to answer back to her, still.  :|  Um, with my mom, I have like the relationship you're supposed to have, for who she is, though it isn't perfect, probably.

Jealous

It seems some people think they can emit jealousy on others, but who cares everyone does it!  Why just do it yourself?  Take away your dignity???

MY GRANDMA

When I visited her, I started to look Chinese. I was 2.  I talked to her on the phone as an infant, too.  I think I was more developed, then, but I dunno something else came up...

Dream

It was a female.

Dream

So, I felt so comforted, like I didn't have to be with Burton and I was still good like, a deep feeling of different levels, like I said.  Like, it was going to the center of the earth or something.

Dream

The feeling was so deep, and I felt like orbs circling me.  Like, it was as deep as like how ... well, like endless, like how I felt the reverberating pain tapped that seemed like it happened over an hour or so of me sleeping, on that level.  It's so funny...  I'm not really sure why.  I woke up to do something else, though.

LEAVE. Me. ALONE.

I thought I said to leave me alone.  You are nothing.  You liar.

Dream

So, after I woke up, I had this pleasant feeling, somehow so deep, of someone putting their arm around me while I met|left like working with or something Tim Burton.  Like, it felt like someone was really digging into my feelings and being, a nice experience.  I'm glad I was able to do it, but it was a bit weird.  I mean, it's good, better than not thinking of like a person, I mean.  However, I don't think of everyone.

D: ~~~~~~ I mean D: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY AUNT JUST SENT ME A FACEBOOK MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WITH THE WORD PETROLIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THAT SUGGESTS POWER OVER SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME.  I SAID GET OUT OF MY LIFE LIKE THAT.  THAT'S SICK.  I DON'T WANT YOU SMART OVER ME IN THAT WAY SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT.  YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CURSE FOR NO REASON AT KIDS.  STOP TORTURING ME YOU NIGGERS.

I don't give a fuck about Helena Bonham Carter and my old blog.

NOW THE MUSIC IS BOTHERING ME.  D:  I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU ALL RUINING MY LIFE AND MY THOUGHTS.  I HATE THIS MUSIC.  HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TORTURING ME WITH IT NOW?  QUIT GETTING ME TO SAY STUFF YOU STUPID BABIES.  LEAVE ME AND MY EMOTIONAL LIFE ALONE, TOO.  LEAVE ME ALONE!

I feel that I'm being programmed stupidly.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RESPECT, NIGGERS

Now what? Leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want you coming around ruining my life!

So, another update.

People think they do what's popular and think I don't deserve what I have.

My Aunt

Why do I keep hearing from my aunt?  I'm tired of her messages.  GET OUT OF MY LIFE, in that way.  I get negative reverberations.  I don't want to solve your puzzles of hatred towards me like that.

I DON'T WANT MY GAY FAMILY IN MY LIFE LIKE THIS.  They are bad and disgusting.  Shut up and leave me alone, niggers!

I DON'T WANT YOUR IMAGES OF YOU TORTURING PEOPLE I LIKE AND HOARDING PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT YOUR SILLY ASSES.

STOP

I feel that I haven't gotten even the right food at this time to teach me a lesson.  I'll go soon.

It doesn't seem we've had food on the table, lately.

Also, the music I hear is bugging me.  Obviously.

People are so sick with my life.  Give it up for "the baby Jew!"  Leave me the Hell alone, niggers!

}:{

Guess what, I just got attacked with noises in the garage by this machine that wouldn't stop, even with my earplugs on, and it got annoying and is simply unforgiveable!!!!  D:{

No one cares!

I'm just fed up, anyone can see that, and no one cares!
Flickr

A Strange Turn of Events

I just realized my brother thinks he's made himself nothing to prove that I'm nothing, that that's "what he is."

I keep getting messages from others about my grandma and dad, too.  How perverted, lame, babyish!  :p  Hmph.  It is.  I got the feeling that I just couldn't take it and pretty much had to protect myself.  How would I do that?  Pretty much you have to roughhouse others because it doesn't seem they are rough enough themselves.

I thought I got a message and couldn't handle it for some reason, the reverberations and the fact I was looking for it.

I'm worried because when I think these things my grandma gets mad.  Maybe, it's not her fault, but I dunno, seems like it.  I'll just go with that she does that, but usually it shouldn't be like that.  I can't believe my mom thinks I have to listen to everyone about everything, like psychopathically, because I'm always good, actually.

So, obviously, it's not just my grandma's fault.  My dad just has a weak bladder, so-to-speak, and she gets infued on me so I'll go crazy.  :p  I think she's always mad at him but close, still.  :|

I just "forgot how to dance."  My singing got worse from not working out as much, too, and I'm looking worse.

How to Get My Dad to Stop Bothering You

Isn't he irritating and ridiculous?  I mean you claim he'll like hurt you if you're not bad to me.

Mad

I don't want my dad probing his nose in my life.  He's being suggestive and trying to take over.  I don't want him taking over.  I just don't want to hear what no one else has to.  I don't want to be told I don't deserve anything because other people are jealous of the intelligence I accumulated.

Can someone like psych in a mortal finish to my family?

I am to experience my full life without relatives getting in the way.

Unimportant

Some people keep snubbing in for attention like it has to be without thinking, just acting like an animal.  They think everything is a suggestion to them and blame people who weren't the ones who "said it" nor meant to ever say it because it didn't mean anything...  I am not really mean.  }:(  Please stop bothering me, you stupid people!

Machine

I just get thoughts ... I had some harsh ones but then something concrete.

I don't know if my dad is capable of knocking me out.  He might be bossy like his family.  I know I'm capable of bothering my mom.

The messages won't stop.

I keep getting people I don't like inflicted on me.  They should know those who are special to them, but some parents are incompetent cretins.
Time to eat and watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  :)

Frankenweenie

I noticed that maybe Tim Burton has taken like hints from me in his movie.  I wonder how that goes over?  It's not my fault.  I don't think he cares.  He's been harsh, lately.

It'll probably get more and more interesting as more people see it.

Leave me alone!

Stop giving me hidden messages.  Don't you know no one will like you for coming on like you're something you're simply ... er ... not?  I'm reading it in the signals!  I don't like to be molested in private like that, neither.  Please, don't go on in German all clunky like a nigger.  Hey, my nose on the other side just got wider when I turned my head some.  The right side had an indent, and the other side just got bigger.  Why don't you do something sutpid like this instead of cause it on me?  I'm not gonna do what you do.  Pretty much, I've kept my rapport about the Nell Burton incidence, but IW ill not change anything from befroe.
Flickr

Yahoo!

So, I finally turned off the messages in the corner..

Like a Machine

Sometimes, the cars go by and I think of things that might be the cause of my parents and I get upset.  Sometimes, in private, I think of things with other people that are bad by accident, but it's their fault it comes up.

I keep feeling so much pressure by my egg sacks.

I'm pretty sure this is all bad.  I'm tired of complaining for now and wanted to relax at home.

Well, this morning I felt my nails kinda go out on the left hand when my dad left for work.  I met him at the corner.  I had met my mom at the other corner.

It's funny I used to draw toenails on the TV and pimples, for my brother and of my dad.  I wonder what that means...

People keep picking on me like they can.  It's not really funny I was made vulnerable, but I know a lot.  I'm like a machine!

I'm tired of being stimulated in perverted ways.  LEAVE ME ALONE!  This is why you need to be ******.

New Photos of Me

Flickr
See you all, a little later.
Disney

Johnny Depp is so perverted.

Definitely, so is my dad.  They just think of every possible thing you could do because people are niggers.  Then, they go through it with you rather than let you live your life you let these things happen to you.  I don't think they have anything to teach me.

Something Unexciting

I felt like the right cheek, which I've felt swirling around, rip at the nose crack.

Also, I noticed I have a line on my eyelid like a cousin's baby.  The right one.  Well, the baby used to look like that.

My Dad or Johnny Depp

So, what, should I really like be "onto" my dad literally, physically knowing him, or is Johnny Depp just listening to what our parents want?

I hate Johnny Depp. Not Really. But-

He's rude to me.  Wait, is he?

I just got the idea of him torturing my future son.

That's so lame the way he "says it."

Why should...

Why should only people born around 1960 be babied to people born around 1950 as less disgusting and more like cute and rubbery-fluffy or like solid in a good way, and like juicy from eating right?

Shorter and Shorter

I guess, I feel I'm solidifying my figure but want longer legs.  So, we'll see what happens.  It's because of the medicine.  My life was okay before the "n" word thing.  My periods are bad and my egg sacks are stimulated.  They had gotten so heavy and rich!  I was dripping blood when I woke up, though.  Maybe, I need to eat more and wait another year.

Wrong Steps

I don't think you need to go through being perverted to come out how you were to begin with...

Gay

So, if you're wondering why I'm happy I'm getting shorter it's because I think I've been stretching my spine too much and not my legs, hopefully which will ... also I need to be stimulated in my crotch because all these years, since I was 11, I've not been since seeing that girl from L.A. who looked so good, was slim, yet seemed so fat, with white hair ... because I took medicine that seems to have made me taller whereas I was trying to get taller in the right way before and didn't.  I don't know why I seem taller now.

I thought about it ... somehow people putting their arm around me while I'm sitting down would stimulate me...  depending on who and how I react.  So, I was thinking, I don't need to be reassured on rides because I feel dead and am assuming that most people if not would need to be reassured by their boyfriends, etc...  How3ever, I discovered something interesting.  I don't know if I'd really ever go on a ferris wheel again, which kinda interested me ... so, I think I would like to.  I mean it's not that boat ride that swings back and forth?  Imagine some people would really get scared...  I'm also upset because my neck got hurt on a log ride like Splash Mountain.  I thought I'd have fun.  When I wanted to do hurtles in P.E. when I moved, I couldn't do any.  I was 12.

I think some people can really get scared, and it's funny if it happens.  I mean, you can get in pain, too.  :S  My aunt was a police, but I know she gets like agitated.  More than me in a way.  She's younger than my dad.

Think about how some people react to gatherings like campfires.  I guess it gets me sappy.  I love going on the hikes, though, now that is cool!  I do feel a lot, but I'd prefer a reeal hike.

Festivals are the biggest thing for me.  You get dressed up in modern clothes.  I think the peak for me was thinking someone older would notice me, like an adult, but that's not where the fun was but where the hype was, shouldn't be something you have to mull over.  I always liked festivals, guess it sorta echoed what was to come.

I thought of something.  My dad did the kiddie games at the festivals at 2 different schools.  He had to get surgery on his knee I thik at the 3rd school...  He got surgery again, later.  He even remembers today and so do I, something I don't remember, too, that the car like exploded at the gas station then.  After his second surgery I used store cards to buy stuff and put up Alice in Wonderland stuff on the walls.  My grandma got some sort of surgery years ago and was fired by an older brother, where she worked at a craft store.  I remember there was a lady there, not older than her, who was obese and tall but not like plump who cried when I was there.  There were lots of things.  Also, she took me to the store and there was a lady she knew working at a place like for popcorn.  When I talked to a relative, she talked about her flabby arms and mine got flabby.  I saw in a video someone who looked like her got like African-looking hands, with short curly hair.  What else?  My grandma acted like I was a problem in how I didn't always respond as assertively when we were out.  Hm.

I feel killed, really, and made to be the opposite of all that was accomplished for people born in 1960, and it's probably very outwardly taxing.

Also, I'm like an active sperm and will attack any other sperms that are no good, even if I die!

My Aunt

I was upset because I was feeling bad and I saw a picture of my lips on Facebook talking to her, and my face was hard to control.  Since then, my dad's been like not being as courteous to me and like trying to stretch out acting like he's punishing me.  I don't know where I can safely turn.  He has a lot of power but shouldn't!  Why not have power over people he can handle?

Dream

I remember the first one was like a locker in like a mental hospital all dark, there was like this big machine that was all dark and shiny.  I guess it had doors in it.  It was probably like a place where kids stayed and got tortured.  There weren't many people there that I remember.  I think someone was there I wanted to put my arm around at the mall or something.  I remember now kinda.  There were other people in it.

The next one I was at a festival and like remember I wanted to put my arm around the person again and vice versa.  There was this ride.  First I went on a roller coaster I designed that had lots of loops that didn't affect me.  It was about how I didn't like big drops.  So, then, there was a ride that was a big deal that went in circles, like at festivals, and it spun around in like Strawberry circles.  I went in awhile and there was this room with pianos.  Then we were to go on the ride.  Some things happened and I couldn't dream of going on the ride.  I remember my mom was outside waiting, too.  My friend was there.  I made a new friend.  A brunette from junior high and high school used a girl with lighter hair who was similar as thinking she was my daughter and it made me feel funny.  So, we were there a long time, like 15 or 20 minutes or so it seemed.

I guess I was upset and wanted to put my arm around the person the whole of these 2 dreams.  It was a good feeling, though, and I kinda did.

I was upset when I woke up and felt stimulated twice.  The first time was interesting but kinda bad and the second kinda flees from me now.  I was trying to feel okay but things happened.  It did feel pushed on me.  I blame the thing with Johnny Depp.  I'm pretty upset and felt pretty disgusting.  I felt better last night in some ways.  It was okay, just felt like in ttrouble I guess.  I just feel like it in bed, though.  I did discover that I wake up when there's something fun to do like dance.  I do need new bed covers...  I don't know if I will get them.  My room is messy in a way, for some reason.  I know I need to ORDER ear plus.  It was an interesting experience but not perfect for me.  I woke up and turned off the music.  Maybe, I shouldn't keep it on.

Also, I read a message from my aunt and felt disturbed.  I felt the nails on my left hand like circle over and now they feel smooth and trashy a bit.  A bit stimulated.  It should cease.  I have a right to be very mad but am tired of announcing it.  See, people are really bad.  Now, also, my lip feels a bit affected.  I'm supposed to be able to feel something from others!  I blame the "n" word thing with Nell Burton, but it's not her fault, it's her mom's and Tim Burton's, probably.  It's others's, too, but I don't know why nor who for sure.

So, I'm upset at how I feel, want to get better food.  I want tasty food, too, and I guess decided on what to deat.  I need to learn to cook, too.

I haven't worked out in awhile and slimmed down and shrunk.  Wait, I got fatter, but my breast is smaller.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Ellen DeGeneres

So, are you mean to me because of weakness and pressure you feel from others or because ... wait, why are you like that?

Ellen DeGeneres

I realize she's uptight like her brother and a bit perverted with no real will.  I just had to say that.  So, I'm feeling the after-effects of watching her in the 80s just for not being comfortable and not having an answer to what I was thinking of her because my mind was already made up and I guess she doesn't figure anything out for good.  I'm sure Florida is Spanish, even Disney, which is good in some ways but in this way too bad.

I guess people in the South can be cliquey.  They're just defending how their culture can be worthless.  They're dirty and rebellious because they don't get as much snow and cold as the rest of the U.S., forgetting their assets, which I know of from living there.  It's not 0 but could be worthless.  Also, they're sissies to the cold and pressure.  I don't think it's very cold where my family lives, though.  It's definitely cold but a bit unpleasant.  I've been there, near the top of the country, in Christmas, and it's definitely freezing but not like the most chill feeling you could get.

Johnny Depp

He's like an animal, always mean, mainly racist, which is dumb.  When he meets a challenge, he finds out if they're all Caucasian.  Had a family in France but left it.

Just because I got mad and he like ruined my reputation, which could probably literally kill me, and said I didn't really care if he ***** because I guess I was talking about like other people getting hurt and ****** constantly, I guess my perspective came up ... I awoke to the idea of him having, after ignoring the thoughts, and listenting to Baroque music on iTunes, of him having spun like my youngest daughter in the most pain you could think, like way up in the sky, for like maybe an hour or so, like all wound up.  That's a reverberation of him, and I'd like to *beep*

He's just so racist and I keep getting the idea he keeps coming round and not caring if I live.  I think he made me mad and start cursing, made me masturbate a lot, made me get in trouble with my parents forever for no good reason, and then made people, the whole world literally, want to kill me, hate on me 24/7, and spoil my reputation and the functioning of the world, for me.  It's gotten me into a bad mental hospital and made me irritated for years.

I cannot believe what I awoke to.  >^..^< ~  He almost killed me.  I wasn't being totally serious.  I was mad.  He's, well, quite a joke.  He's a movie star, doesn't need to be an uptight, disgusting perv.  Always coming round with an insult like I deserve something bad.  He doeesn't literally do that, which is why you don't see me seething at him, on YouTube...  Stop picking on me because I'm maybe Native American!!!

NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?  EVER EXPERIENCE A LOT OF PAIN LIKE THAT?  WHAT ABOUT THE EGGS IN MY BODY AND MY FUTURE DAUGHTER?

What is Johnny Depp?  That is of course worthless...  Totally stupid.  A racist ANIMAL.  I don't act non-Caucasian.

I could delete it, but I was just mad and lots of people get mad worse ways, so, I guess you're all really just stupid and worthless.

My Race

My Race - Scroll down.

Moms

So, what's it like having a mom who's born at a certain time, usually compare it to moms of other ages?

I mean how the people born around 1960, especially 1957-1961, are idealized.

I just explained how like it was your actual age and that like younger kids are younger in the style of their moms.  I think it's sentimental and in a way you have choices.

Get your nose outta my face!

Why don't people get their nose out of how my family eats?  Do they want my dad to overeat over me, in the end?

Ellen With Kids 2

I really, like everyone else, like people born around 1957-1961.  I mean the girls, dunno about guys, guys from 1949 or 1950 are cool.

So, I'm older but attached to my mom's generation|age but still am older.  I like other women, too, but I just get so mad that Ellen is like not old enough to be my mom!  I watch her show!

Anyway, I would indeed like to see the 15-year-olds be a fan of her, but now I feel a bit desensitized to it, like no one's out there, like no one my mom's age had a baby ... wait, they did!  8o  It should work out, but for some reason my brother seems older.  I don't know why.  :|  Probably because my mom moved to the U.S., plus my dad is older, but Nell Burton's dad was old but the same generation and class as Ellen.

I'm kinda sad.  D*=  I mean, since the "n" word thing, no one has accepted my kindness and I get rage on the internet.  Thanks a lot, Nell Burton or Helena Bonham Carter!  Not sure whose decision it was, maybe blame my dad, as well as maybe Johnny Depp??

I feel I hurt someone's feelings by saying that about Ellen, that she's not old enough to be my mom, that she will never have kids.  I don't really understand.  My aunt had a kid, but she's not like her and she's Italian, and my grandma doesn't like Italian.

So, she saw Zoey Deschanel, but isn't she like 20?

Hm.  How old is Chloë Moretz?  I dunno...  I gotta find out...  Oh, so she's }:D ... 16?  No, she's 15!  :D   I wonder if she's looking for someone even younger.  I don't know who's younger.  Maybe, Chloë Moretz is ... shy.  Chloë Moretz is just different, but I thought she was German and maybe French.  She's definitely German, which is scary, so I wonder if she really is.  Oh wow, it's not really funny.  I think kids with parents a little younger than my dad are the counter to Ellen's generation, but I'm like over and above that so more like "what" she thinks she is.  So, Chloë might be like German, Dutch, French, East German, or Swedish?

I just realized that people who are older can tickle you, pretty much, works out for people like born in like 1975 with people born in 1960.  I guess the same goes for people born in 1970.

I used to think that people born in 1970 would be nice to see as parents, but I guess that I would feel kinda authoritative.

It seems like my generation and my brother's generation and around and in between are like too old for her and like of another generation's parents.  Even the others with moms my age.

I'm wondering now about kids born in like 1997-2004.

I'm kinda special, like Chloë, I kinda act like I'm older.

I guess Ellen's kid would be born in 1997.

;|  Now shutting down.

What will we do now?  8|

When I was 11, I felt I was old enough to parent kids.  Hm, I moved in 1998, though, and that actually was my big time.  :|  I saw Kate Bush, though, and that's not like Ellen nor my mom but more like Tim Burton for some reason.  I don't get it.  Why is Tim Burton like Kate Bush and I gues other women born around that time?  Just a different generation, kinda like Jodie Foster.  Hm.  I guess it's the people themselves that matter.

I wonder why some people as a baby are more like babies and others like grow to mature in how they feel instead of like feeling less.  Shouldn't you have a peak of your life in the middle?

I don't think I ever would have submitted to someone.  I felt like I wanted to but "never did."  Wait, not in a bad way, though!

I'm trying to accept how older people are much older.

So, I hope my life gets better and better soon.

I'm still looking out for kids out there who are like ... 19.   Or 15 for Ellen DeGeneres, the age her kids would be!

I'm confused, what kids "were supposed to watch her show" in the 2000s?  The ones who were mean to people like me?

Niggers, Again :}

Why does my dad react like an animal?  Like you stupid nigger kids.  I say something logical, and you grunt and sqeuak and squack and talk like an animal and walk like an animal...

Ellen With Kids

I guess she likes kids slightly younger than me for some odd reason ... let's see ... she is 28 1|2 years older than me.  Also, my mom's age might make me different and I'm not sure about my dad's age.  He's a lot older.  I think younger kids generally get knocked out more but come out more tough later on...  I am open to interacting with people.  I'm not sure what style or generation I'd like to think of as parents, but it's nice to see pretty much the generation or so after have kids...  8|  I guess I'm worried about that a lot of people younger than me that Ellen likes, not sure how old they'd be at this point, 15?  I was thinking like a little younger than me, but I'm 26 now.  :|  I don't deny my mom's style.  I think I'm a certain generation.  I guess that's true.  I don't know about the age of my egg.  I guess that makes a difference, but I'm still younger.  It definitely makes a difference how old you are!  80  That's what, the main thing, I think...  It seems like it.  I get along with women born around my mom's age well, as well as pretty much any older ladies.  Let's think about this, though.  If she likes kids who are 15, now, that means they would be ... she's born ... she's ... 54?  So, she would have been 39 when they were born?  When I was 15, I don't know, but I didn't watch TV!  D8  I watched cartoons as a kid, well, mostly I watched all the episodes of "Doug" and "Rugrats."  My brother is 21?  I connect with other kids his age, though.  Like, the ones with white hair are cute, but I think they got old and fat.  Then, what about the kids who are like ... born 1993.  They'd be 19, first year of college.  I don't really get it.  Well, my grandma is 2 years older than her mom.  So, I guess she'd maybe have kids 2 years ltaer, 1995?  That's when she did the ride at Disney.  Those kids would be 17, though.  So, if you're 16, she'd have been ... 37 for the other kids ... and 39 for if you're 15 now.  Makes sense.  So, who's 15????  8|

What age would my mom be?  That's a scary thought.  My dad is born July 1950.  Hm...  The problem is I get on pretty well with ladies who are just a little younger than my dad and even older, so I dunno.  Maybe, someone born in 1955?  That's just 3 years before Ellen was born.  So, that means that if I was born 3 years later, I'd now be 23 1|2 almost.  The "n" word thing happened when I was 23 1|2.  :|  So, if I was 2 years younger, I'd be the age of my last year of college, like my brother, not a good time.  If I was a little younger than that, I'd be the other ages I mentioned.  :|  I wonder what kinds of ages of moms she likes.  Maybe, she likes that youngest girl from "The Brady Bunch."  It seems the style went out of style after that, seeing as Jodie Foster was so different and I've seen other women, too.  Also, my aunt is born a year before that, and my mom is born before that, so it's weird.  I wish I could settle down and like relate to people with a style I like.  I've seen women a bit younger than my mom, a bit older than my aunt, and it's an interesting experience.  I guess I'm just used to other people.

I see she started at 27.  :)  I'm 26 1|2.  YouTube.  It seems my mom was more mature, but I seem to be able to be as mature as she was.  :|  I didn't try to be little to her, but I tried to be like her.  I feel that women older than my father are too old for me, but I like a lot of them a lot.  I somehow slip away or something and go on.  My other aunt is just a few years younger than my dad.  Late 1953.  :|  She always seemed too young for me because I was with my dad.  I guess I did like the lady in Grease who was born in 1951, the one who did the TV show with the trains.

YOU NIGGERS!

Quit picking on me because my life isn't perfect!  I will...

Measurements

34
31
36

5'1.5"
34
32
37

Ellen DeGeneres

Do you ever want to put Ellen in a bad mood?

Being Mean

So, why do you do "things" for me and then think you can do something mean to me?
Edit

Bad People

Do you know people are made to feel happy for no reason, at all?

Everything in the world is morally being fought for them!

Weirdos|Monsters

Do you know people who at any odds will test someone?  Just because of something that happened, just go around being mean to everyone about anything?

Do you know people who have others take your place in the kind of relationship and distance you had?
Books

Ellen DeGeneres

Do you really think she knows what she's doing?  She like makes things go downhill for me.  Like, I'm alone and suddenly I'll think of something.
Native American

Ellen DeGeneres

I was thinking it was funny, like Tim Burton, sometimes it seems so much like it's all about Portia, like in theory.

I just got upset.  It's funny more people don't post online.

I know, with me, people like say I'm all that and then get mad when they don't get any attention.  They try to rub it in.  I know a lot of times I'm a favorite but not a teacher's pet.  I'm that star that twinkles in the distance out of the corner of your eye.  Like my dad said on his website he took down, with a story, too, and quotes and stuff I think, when it gets darker outside or something you can see the furthest stars the brightest.

I guess I should have kept my head from spinning or something and realized that Ellen is dedicated to everyone and that you have to respond, but I guess I was confused because of the "n" word thing, and it's like things have been taken away from me.

I'm beginning to think Tim Burton and his girlfriend think nothing matters that they do, but they need to QUIT GETTING MAD AT WHAT I DO AND WHAT MY MOM DOES AND AT MY DAD LIKE WE'RE NIGGERS!  They're probably jealous they're not smart like the Chinese.  Neither is Ellen DeGeneres.  Why?  Duh, they aren't Chinese nor do they wish to be nor should they.  Except, Ellen seems to have a fetish with her mom's last name.  I don't have a fetish with my mom's last name, at all, though.  I guess I used to have a fetish with her traits from her dad, but I think that's gone now.  Not sure why.  It's just not there.  Also, Helena Bonham Carter's mom's last name is Spanish, but her mom is mostly Jewish.

Bad

You can't make things right!

Picture in Background

For some reason, I couldn't get it down to a small size and so it's small.  I mean the file size!!!!

A Nuisance

What a big clunky worthless way to be.  The reverberations in society.

My Grandma needs to, like, get the Hell away!

She's affected my relationship with my parents, and I don't know why.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Feelings

Aw, I know you're schizophrenic.  Did I hurt your feelings?  Because I want to torture people?  You shouldn't be worried because I didn't really mean anything yet.  I just mean that I will not be humiliated.  I guess I can't change it, but it's how I will treat you.  I won't really be mean to you, but I do not accept.  You think I don't do anything at all, but you make yourself go in convulsions all over me?  I want to know who and what caused it.  Oooh, ha, I already know.  So, why are you asking me a stupid questions?

Dream

So, I was in bed and feeling good and not feeling like anyone was doing it to me, but I "felt it in the sheets," I mean, like I felt like I was all my sheets, too.  However, I think like dreaming, I was thinking of being like at a crack of a wall and like going over to it and facing it.  Like kinda on the side.  Imagining it was a person, and that person like ot me off and told me to stop.

I had a harsh dream I don't remember.

Well, I kinda remember the nature of it but feel tired from growing and eating.  :|

Wow

Supposedly, my dad was mean to me and so people don't like him like before, but it's all Nell Burton's fault, Tim Burton, you selfish father!

Why should I sit here and figure out how to feed my dad when I'm sick and hungry myself?

Is there something wrong with my mom?  Why does she think she feeds my dad well enough?  I hate her stupid food.  I don't even eat with them, now.

I really hate Nell Burton.  I feel all sorts of things inflicted on me because of her.  Her msideeds.  Alls he is is hatred toward me.  What use is that?  At hermometeor.

How is my dad supposed to be alert to her whims and desires?  She doesn't want to be Chinese?  Fine.  Then, don't eat Chinese food!  Dummy!  :^{

I don't want to mess up along the way.

Oh my God.  Is my dad a martyr to bad food?  My brother had chicken wings.  He also started liking steak.  I dunno, he had a noodle and other fixations.  Early on.

This food is stupid.  I like it, but I don't want to eat with my dad at home.

I don't like rice and shredded chicken. I want beef, soup, prepared vegetables, starches, some potatos, different kinds of noodles and things, European food, spicy food.  There's no good soup at the store.  I don't know how I'll have the time to make it.  I'm not into cooking right now.  My mom is busy, but she wasn't busy before.  My dad is more questionable to me about food.  He riles me up at the grocery store.  Go rile up your sisters, you bastard.

My dad is mean to me.  He wants to think I'm insignificant.

Why doesn't he get a grill and grill some steaks?  I know he's on a diet, but a little beef should be good.  That's what he eats out.  My mom doesn't cook the cauliflower anymore, and I don't really know why but think that she should.

I *BEEEP*

It seems Ellen DeGeneres thinks she has something against me.  She's not very nice, herself, really.  She's just not that much of an honest person who deserves to know the truth of what can happen to her.  As long as I'm around.

I can say whatever I want.  I'm not some uptight hokey.  You're not in the world.  You don't even know what life is.  That's probably why no one watches, WHAT THEY SAY WHAT YOU THINK IS OKAY FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO SAY WHO KNOW ABOUT YOU... your "stupid" show.

My dad is better off ****.  I can really h... him.  I wanna wipe that ... "silly" grin off his FACE!

I don't care "what" you say.  I'll corner you and hunt you down and then t... you.

I want to *beep*

I just felt something unpleasant in my egg sacks.  I caught on something.  Anyway, it felt like the whites of toenails or fingernails and not in a good way.  I felt it more prominently.  I don't think that had to happen.  Hm.  I hope you all never have babies!  I'm mad beyond belief.  I want to **** my psychiatrist, too.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my dad is just a nigger, a disgusting failure of a human being who can't shut up and leave me be like my mom, same with my aunts, they're just brats.

Thanks to the niggers in England for their saucy, dirty, stupid influence.  Go put yourselves together and stop seeking out successes in the U.S. to correct.

I'm tired of this Irish shit, too.

Don't even get me started with "Scottish" Americans.

I can do whatever I want.  Stop playing games.

I don't CARE ABOUT MY DAD'S STUPID SISTERS.  I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS IS WORTHLESS.

Don't start.

Some people with Native American are really forward with Europeans.  Don't think we can't like do what we want and even be mean to you without you getting back at us until you go mad.

ELLEN DEGENERES

I AM NOT PORTIA.  I AM NOT ITALIAN.  I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN.  WHY ARE YOU INFLUENCING MY PARENTS TO BE MEAN TO WONE ANOTHER?