Feelings

Aw, I know you're schizophrenic.  Did I hurt your feelings?  Because I want to torture people?  You shouldn't be worried because I didn't really mean anything yet.  I just mean that I will not be humiliated.  I guess I can't change it, but it's how I will treat you.  I won't really be mean to you, but I do not accept.  You think I don't do anything at all, but you make yourself go in convulsions all over me?  I want to know who and what caused it.  Oooh, ha, I already know.  So, why are you asking me a stupid questions?

Dream

So, I was in bed and feeling good and not feeling like anyone was doing it to me, but I "felt it in the sheets," I mean, like I felt like I was all my sheets, too.  However, I think like dreaming, I was thinking of being like at a crack of a wall and like going over to it and facing it.  Like kinda on the side.  Imagining it was a person, and that person like ot me off and told me to stop.

I had a harsh dream I don't remember.

Well, I kinda remember the nature of it but feel tired from growing and eating.  :|

Wow

Supposedly, my dad was mean to me and so people don't like him like before, but it's all Nell Burton's fault, Tim Burton, you selfish father!

Why should I sit here and figure out how to feed my dad when I'm sick and hungry myself?

Is there something wrong with my mom?  Why does she think she feeds my dad well enough?  I hate her stupid food.  I don't even eat with them, now.

I really hate Nell Burton.  I feel all sorts of things inflicted on me because of her.  Her msideeds.  Alls he is is hatred toward me.  What use is that?  At hermometeor.

How is my dad supposed to be alert to her whims and desires?  She doesn't want to be Chinese?  Fine.  Then, don't eat Chinese food!  Dummy!  :^{

I don't want to mess up along the way.

Oh my God.  Is my dad a martyr to bad food?  My brother had chicken wings.  He also started liking steak.  I dunno, he had a noodle and other fixations.  Early on.

This food is stupid.  I like it, but I don't want to eat with my dad at home.

I don't like rice and shredded chicken. I want beef, soup, prepared vegetables, starches, some potatos, different kinds of noodles and things, European food, spicy food.  There's no good soup at the store.  I don't know how I'll have the time to make it.  I'm not into cooking right now.  My mom is busy, but she wasn't busy before.  My dad is more questionable to me about food.  He riles me up at the grocery store.  Go rile up your sisters, you bastard.

My dad is mean to me.  He wants to think I'm insignificant.

Why doesn't he get a grill and grill some steaks?  I know he's on a diet, but a little beef should be good.  That's what he eats out.  My mom doesn't cook the cauliflower anymore, and I don't really know why but think that she should.

I *BEEEP*

It seems Ellen DeGeneres thinks she has something against me.  She's not very nice, herself, really.  She's just not that much of an honest person who deserves to know the truth of what can happen to her.  As long as I'm around.

I can say whatever I want.  I'm not some uptight hokey.  You're not in the world.  You don't even know what life is.  That's probably why no one watches, WHAT THEY SAY WHAT YOU THINK IS OKAY FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO SAY WHO KNOW ABOUT YOU... your "stupid" show.

My dad is better off ****.  I can really h... him.  I wanna wipe that ... "silly" grin off his FACE!

I don't care "what" you say.  I'll corner you and hunt you down and then t... you.

I want to *beep*

I just felt something unpleasant in my egg sacks.  I caught on something.  Anyway, it felt like the whites of toenails or fingernails and not in a good way.  I felt it more prominently.  I don't think that had to happen.  Hm.  I hope you all never have babies!  I'm mad beyond belief.  I want to **** my psychiatrist, too.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my dad is just a nigger, a disgusting failure of a human being who can't shut up and leave me be like my mom, same with my aunts, they're just brats.

Thanks to the niggers in England for their saucy, dirty, stupid influence.  Go put yourselves together and stop seeking out successes in the U.S. to correct.

I'm tired of this Irish shit, too.

Don't even get me started with "Scottish" Americans.

I can do whatever I want.  Stop playing games.

I don't CARE ABOUT MY DAD'S STUPID SISTERS.  I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS IS WORTHLESS.

Don't start.

Some people with Native American are really forward with Europeans.  Don't think we can't like do what we want and even be mean to you without you getting back at us until you go mad.

ELLEN DEGENERES

I AM NOT PORTIA.  I AM NOT ITALIAN.  I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN.  WHY ARE YOU INFLUENCING MY PARENTS TO BE MEAN TO WONE ANOTHER?

No one cares about your stupid sisters.

MY DAD REALLY IS RETARDED

BUT THERE ISN'T ANY GOOD MEDICINE OUT THERE!!!!

He thinks we need to get ready for the world, but lets just hurt other people.

Stop treating me like a nigger.

You can't say I can't do something.

What else was I thinking?

Well, I can sense jealousy seeping in.  Why do you think you're the only one who can be jealous of me?  What do you think I am, your VooDoo doll?  I'm not a nigger, at any rate!

My dad is weak..

Wow, I must make my dad collapse to his knees.  I already am way smarter than my mom, you niggers.  My mom has made me strong, my whole life, but my brother is a weakling..

YOU STUPID NIGGERS

There's this boy online who's dad, who is about 5 years older than my dad died, and it seems that people want my dad to die.  Wow, go **** your own dads, you stupid niggers.

ELLEN DEGENERES

STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO OLD PEOPLE AND PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME!  WHY DON'T YOU EVER TALK?  D*:

Tim Burton is a *beep*

Why doesn't he just pick one side?  He's a weakling.  He is a bad man.  He shouldn't have a daughter.

I care about my dad you stupid niggers.

If I don't DIE and go to Hell I could torture you slowly because I am the most powerful woman in the whole world and caused things like Hurricane Katrina.

My grandma is so stupid.

I don't want to say that, but she is like skirting around issues like that's my life, picking on my family all the time in hidden ways!  What a sick grandma.  The world is at her feet.  A nation waits, and how it hates to be cheated.

JOHNNY DEPP

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID, SICK, MISERABLE LIFE AND YOUR FAILURES IN YOUR FAMILY AFFAIR.  I DON'T CARE IF *deleted*!  BECAUSE YOU SUCK UP TO PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD.

I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT TO YOU NIGGER

STOP PICKING ON MY MOM.  YOU RUINED MY LIFE.  GO BACK TO HELL.

SHUT UP DAD, YOU STUPID, GOOD FOR NOTHING AMERICAN.

YOU CAN'T MAKE A HOME.  GO **** YOURSELF FOR MAKING ME LIKE MICHAEL!

I'll just sit here and post hate messages to my disgusting, sick, nigger dad.

I don't have a dad.

I have an idiot who abuses women.

All I see is his shit around the house for thinking he had nothing to do with getting me to call someone the "n" word, which doesn't matter, except it may have hurt this person, though I was asked to do it and this person wanted me to do it.

His life is not even worth living or something.  I don't know what I'm thinking.

Oh, and fucking **** his sister for mimicking me like a retard.  He's influenced him too much.  I'm kidding.  I didn't say anything out loud.  :|  I have a right to for the suggestions she's had me sit with throughout the past 15 years.  I just don't know what to say.  I don't mean it literally, retards!

My dad is the most retarded person in the world.

I'm really hurt.  How else can I say something like this?

He is so stupid and sucks up to his mom at age 60 something, and he says she should be dead.  Go **** yourself.

Be More Aggressive

It will come up if you don't write it down.

Gay

I have a gay indian family.  Stop talking about them.  Let's all run away from them together.

HIT }:{

Now, I'm imagining shit from someone else.

Don't do it.  I kinda don't mind if it happened to you.

Mad

I imagined someone dying and couldn't help thinking of curse words.

>^,,^<~ meow

Stop acting like you're "what" because you're not good enough, like you "did it" to make us not look as bad.  Don't get into my wording, too much for me to think about right now.  You're just racist and categorical.

Visions

I have bad visions caused by the interest of multiple people when I'm trying to settle in.

People don't have what they think they can offer.  That's the problem to begin with, hard to think of again and getting tired of doing this.  Maybe later, though?  Dunno if it's the best idea, though...

Ever since the "n" word thing, I've been like tortured mentally constantly and been unable to function, like I don't care about anyone and want all the attention, which I don't even GET!

I didn't get it all my life, in a way, it seemed, well, not for large portions of it, constantly, like never a totally ideal life, well maybe once...  And, now, how would you like to be told you're wrong because other people have families and like make a big deal of it and stuff...  Like, don't get into what's not there.  How would you like to be the one people are mean to?  Like, it's because you're not white or something?  It's just what everyone's been doing.

Can't Hide Anything

I just can't hide anything, can I?  Do you have to be rich and famous to be happy?  :6  LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Did not count.)

Problem?

You think I was messed up in the womb.  Well, I probably have the same desires and goals to surmount.  I bet you'd come out looking like a retarded Asian if you were me, I'm almost 100% sure of it all the time.  I've seen living proof and online.  I'm sure of this.  Now I don't care about your sperm.  I'm not my dad.  I'm another person.  He has faults I don't have.  I'm another WHITE PERSON, YOU BLOOMIN IDIOTS.  WHITE PEOPLE ARE JUDGED AS INDIVIDUALS.  EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.  PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES ARE CATEGORIZED TO BE UNDERSTOOD.  This is an idea that has been going around since the 80s and maybe before I was born!  It was constant, a big deal, not always spoken of but I think I've heard of it enough it seems, maybe in those tacky influxes of the voice, those nasal, tacky, mellow suck ups of the 80s, 90s, 00s, and the present!

Imperfect, Unaccomplished, and Lazy

You're just racist, mad someone else will do something dramatic.

It's very suggestive, indeed.  It's something to try to formulate a thought on.  Probably not worth it.

You think it's not about what you do but how spoiled you are, that you don't get "that feeling" taken away from you, that you get mad if something good happens to someone else, something I've felt, though I didn't hurt anyone for it.  :|  :6

Niggers

You think you're so saucy, mimicking me.  Going behind my back like you were scared away and then still being mean to me, like I can't be mean to you and taking me of my dignity.

Also, do not hold me accountable for deciding to do this.  I feel very irritated.  It's affecting me and putting disturbing images in my mind's eye.

I blame you stupid people.

My left eye feels like it's round.  }:{  I blame you stupid people.

NHo

Oh, now you think being smart is sarcastic.

Leave me alone!

All you'll come back to is getting mad for putting curse words concretely in my head.

Also, I don't care about your queasiness.  Get out of my life!

Oh wow

Have fun making the same mistakes again and being mean to me because you're not white, being mean to me like that wasn't what got you in trouble in the first place.

Also, you pushed me to think of curse words, and now I can't get them out of my head.  So, don't BE MEAN TO ME FOR SHIT LIKE THAT.  I'm trying to get rid of the thoughts, but curse words aren't that bad.  It's what you do, and I used to not curse.

My Grandma

She's pretty harsh now, but so are other people, really, it's okay for them to be mean to me but not the other way around.

REALLY MAD

I keep feeling a swirling, well more of a shifting around of pressure, like where I think my egg sacks are.  Ever since I talked to my grandma every day to read the Bible, it's been happening.  I think I was sensitive to it, before, but who knows why, really.  Like, if I was a little upset because she was being bad because of the "n" word thing, all night I would feel that, like stress to make it stop and not pulse and stuff.  It doesn't pulse now.  It's kinda neat, maybe finally gaining some control over my parts.  Anyway, so, yea, I feel it a lot, when I think of it, it happens.  I don't seem to think much, anymore.

Meanies

Stop teasing me about my thoughts with the "n" word thing.

I can do whatever I want that is legal.

Wow, my life sure has been ruined for nothing.  It seems other people are the mean, conventional ones.

Meanies

I really don't care what some people think and wants thoughts of them out of my life.

If someone did something and it was wrong but made it seem nice to me is not bad and should not be suggested as such.

I don't need to play games because I'm not going to interact with you in a certain way, so just GO AWAY!  Stop bringing up people to molest you for you because you want to be mean to me.

Mad

So, you can't make other people feel uncomfortable for what they did in fear.  They probably didn't mean it but made up a reason.

If someone had a hard life, then you could have a hard life, too.

It seems that some people have racial problems of their own.

I'm sure that Tim Burton is being clunky.  He's mellow, and his daughter has been mellowed.

Ellen DeGeneres is a show-off!  She wants to get attention for being bad.

This would make a good movie.

Book

Maybe, some people will never have their say?

You'd think Judgers would Think.

My Type

I think people want me to be an INTP.  That's what my dad is.  I don't really think, though.  8|

Ellen DeGeneres

I'm guessing she's T ... E ... F ... ESTF.  Wait, EST ... ESTP.

@TheEllenShow

How about being Open or Closed.  Then being Dreamy or Concrete.  Then being Finesse or Clunky.  Then being Decisive or Indecisive.

Why make a test?

I think I am an ODFD.  Most people are CCCIs.

I think you are O but not as O as me, D but not as D as me, C, and D.  Maybe the same as me in D.  So, you are a ODCD, and I am an ODFD.

Tweet @DonnaDunning

Supposedly, from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I've realized people think the world is SPs, SJs, and Intuitives.  I ended up deciding it was all ESFPs.  There are lots of ESTJs, and don't talk about ESFJs, please!  I'm not sure what type I am, but I think my mistake was that people were sure I was a Thinking type.  At first, I was Introverted, maybe like a 9 or a 10.  I think I just said I did pick up the phone when it rang.  However, so many times in a row over the years w|o ceasing I've been exactly half and half.  I'm big on that you change throughout life, and I will stand firm by that belief.  I guess the funny thing was maybe I was a Perceiver.  As for Sensing and Intuiting, I'm not sure.  Let's just say I'm an EXTP.  However, I'm defintely a Feeler, now, or am becoming one.  So, then, I'd be an EXSP.  Wait, EXFP.  It seems, as a feeler, I'd be a Sensor, though I'm not really sure why.  I just don't want to be an INFX.  I don't know how Introverted I can really be.  I like to express myself.  That's probably why the types aren't balanced.

Let's see what really divides the population, and in order but more than one thing...  So, some people like to hold in their true feelings, some people like to lie, some people don't like to admit they feel, and some people don't plan on anything.  So, that would separate the good guys from the bad ones.  I've connected this to the Enneagram, as have the books I read, which isn't many.  I also know there are people who don't feel what they want to feel.  I used to be like that.  I would feel differently than I thought.  Not until I grew up and moved to Orlando did that eventually change.  Well, I also went up north for college, and I suppose that's when the process began.  I still might have been a Feeler had I not moved to the New Orleans area.  Hm.  A car just roared|zoomed by.  ':0  Yes, and everyone is affected by their environment in different ways because of race, but it changes, like persoality types do.  That just means we should all be ESFJs, but I'm not busy planning anything.  8)  When I think, I feel I'm interacting.  I don't plan experiences and then not feel what I think...

It's hard to say we all have different personalities.  Is intuiting really thinking and judging?  Are we all either ES ... INTJs, ENTJs, and ... ESFJs, ESTJs?  I'm wondering what my cousin is.  She was supposedly an ESFP, but I don't think so.  She's too wild to feel and think.  She's not very extraverted anymore nor ever communicated much, was just loud.  I know I seem blunt, but so is everyone else.  :p  She's affected my life is why I bring this up here.  She's not here, and no one talks to me.  So, she must be an INTJ.  I wonder what her mom is.  Maybe an ENTP.  I have another aunt.  She's probably an ENFJ.  My grandma is probably an INTP, like my dad.  My mom may be an ... ENFP.

It's funny, I used to live thinking I was an INFP.  I don't know why I wasn't an INFJ.  I just wasn't.  I didn't have time to practice piano.  You'd think being an NF would mean being the most artistic.  I guess INFPs and ESFPs are artistic.

So, I'm guessing it'd be good to find out how many people are what.  I'm guessing most people are really Feelers, unless they are Judgers or professers.  Most people have chosen they are realistic people, Sensors.  Then, I guess being a Judger and a Perceiver comes in, and Perceivers are like Intuiters.  It doesn't have to be that way.  Maybe, they are "like Feelers."

I still want to make new categories!

How about being Open or Closed.  Then being Dreamy or Concrete.  Then being Finesse or Clunky.  Then being Decisive or Indecisive.

Why make a test?

I think I am an ODFD.  Most people are CCCIs.

Helena Bonham Carter

... She really gets a temper, sometimes.  Don't people who have schizophrenia do that?  I understand that Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka is like that.  Hm...  I was thinking, my mom is Chinese-Indonesian...  My dad has Native American and Jewish.  Helena Bonham Carter doesn't.  No one should react to her.  I've often thought people with moms who aren't all white are just spoiled rotten!

I'm unsure, too, because, like, Helena Bonham Carter waited so late to have kids withs such an old man...  I don't really like her kids?  I do, I mean, but it's like they're "not allowed to play with me."  That doesn't make them look good.

I'm not sure what's wrong with their kids.  I guess being Jewish, as well as Spanish, takes its toll on them??

I wonder if its because their parents are so young.  I'm not sure if my life could be like theirs, not in this lifetime nor ever, I think.  I guess they make a big deal over little things.  I don't get stimulated that easily.

I'm not sure why I got stimulated when I was younger.  I thought it was from doing gymnastics, but I only went once a week.  I think I tried harder than anyone else and did it at home but not like a lot all the time.  I had already thought I should quit, but my brother was born and my mom asked if I wanted to stay and I said yes.  She later said she wants each kid in one activity, but my brother didn't do sports until he was 6 1|2.

I did art, as well, but I wouldn't say it's what stimulated me, at the time.  It felt kinda pleasurable, not really wrong, but it kinda stayed with me.  I can't feel it, anymore, though.

I used to be more stimulated seeing people pick up kids, but I don't really do that like that.  I understand it but don't like think about it concretely all the time.

I feel "good," now, almost died from eating but took a heart pill.  I usually take a bunch of pills daily.  I haven't worked out in awhile, neither.

I don't understand how you could get uppity for someone else in the world enjoying themselves.  I mean, you can't literally go ahead and attack that person.  I understand you can do things in other ways, but most people don't.

Go bother someone else!  It would do them good.  They can't be hurt the way I can.  :S  I used to be like them, in an earlier day.

I did get a lot from people I talked to, but it's always been a trade-off.  It sorta is like pieced together shit.  Well, concretely, I'd say I really was shit, but my thoughts aren't shit.  So, other people do think shit, I know.  I probably did at one point, too, but got tired of it.  :(

My grandma is rough with me nowadays.  It's other people who also want her to "be" unpleasing and are like rubbing in the older people in my family in ways that don't suit each one individually.  It turns out I'm not so cool.  I think okay, but I'm like shit.  Well, not really, but part of me is, I think.  :S

I'm still mad that the world is like about Tim Burton in his unsucceessful relationship with Helena Bonham Carter.  He seems to think he's over and above me.  I feel so winded by him and Johnny Depp it isn't funny.

Also, I can enjoy myself and you can't like associate every good thing with something that went wrong.  It might seem obvious, but it was obviously set up and I deserve what I have, which isn't much.

I find people are mean to me because of my race.  It's always been that way, though.  :|

Don't tell me like I had it easier because sorry I didn't sorry to burst your bubble, but I assume you have problems, as well.

Me technically being Native American seems to get in the way.  However, it's also a benefit, just something to deal with that you have to be careful about.

I'm not sure what I'd be like if I wasn't Native American.  Native Americans are strong and in tune with nature, but I'm not from Alaska.  I have relatives from the northern Scottish islands but maybe not a huge hunk, unsure though, might be from a long time ago but dunno.

I really don't get why the world centers on Italians and also around Jews against Chinese and Native Americans.  Or Chinese, at least.  Hm.  Anything that's against Chinese who are competition.  That's Tim Burton and his daughter Nell, but Billy is good.  I like Nell, though.  Hm.  Her dad is older than my mom.  Maybe that's why.  She's cute, too...

Ellen's Energy Adventure! ... I got a new fan 2 days ago I think and I talked to her.

Older Parents

When I meet women who are older than me, I guess I feel a lot.  I know there's a lot of calculating involved.  I think Nell Burton is the opposite.

Wait, I mean women who are older than my dad.  I like women between my parents's age, but I haven't yet met any born 1955-1956 that catch my fancy.